This was the best week ever...due to the fact that I was in Laguna (my second home), went to a Padres game AND got to go to DLand and hang out with the Family. Basically all my favorite things rolled into one week. Since nothing can compare to the fabulo-week, I was prepared for the weekend to be a major let down. It was not my friends. It was not.
Let me count the ways...
1. My date. I was a little leery about posting regarding my dating life for multiple reasons, the main two being, A. What happens if nothing materializes and then I have told you all and then not only am I sad and lost and alone but you are sad and lost and alone and I wouldn't want to put that on you since you are all in functioning relationships and don't need to be reminded of the dating world B. I feel weird putting it on the Internet...but since this is about my life and since most of you are off and married and have no time to call and chat about the plights of a single girl, I decided I guess it was ok. I don't date often but when I do I observe many curious things. Actually, I just observe many curious things in general dealing with menfolk....they are just magnified on dates. If you are a man, you should read this...because you people need to learn what we think/expect/are appalled by so you can act accordingly.
A. Date girls. This weekend was my first official date with...we will just call him EC since he is from the East Coast...Boston to be exact (and yes he has the accent...and it is basically my weakness). I say official date because we have known each other for quite some time and any of you who have "hung out" with a guy know that unless you are firm and all SBW (strong black woman) on them, boys have a tendency not to take you out on proper dates. So when he came back into my life I became all SBW with him and lo and behold...date night hurrah! Now, this is not a When Harry Met Sally situation where we were friends first and it all fell into place and it was so precious...it was more a we tried to date before but we were both in bad places and it started quickly going downhill until it ended in a terrible awkward crash kind of situation. Yet I digress. Now we don't like to have to go SBW on you, so just ask us out to begin with. Don't "hang out" with us so we are left wondering if we are dating or if you like us or if we are just one of the guys all night and then once your friends leave you start macking on us and then we are all flavors of confused. Unacceptable.
B. Open our doors. I am independent and strong and I make my own money and buy my own ish and I can open my own doors but when I am on a date, I don't wanna. Just do it. It's not that we can't do it on our own, it's that you are showing that you have manners and weren't raised by piggies and that you want to take care of us...and we all want to be taken care of...so do it. EC did it. Point 2 for EC (Point 1 was the accent).
C. Open our car doors. This point is up for contention. Alex and Ash seem to believe that is a strange thing to do and that is feels weird if someone comes around and opens your door but I don't. I love me some car door opening. When BZ and I were dating I would wait outside until he opened it. Sometimes he would forget and get in the car and I would just be chillin outside like "Um hello, get out here and treat me like the lady I am biatch" and so he would get out and do it and I would lose my sassy face and be all smiley and cute. It makes me feel special and dainty and anyone who knows me knows that I am far from dainty...plus if you do it, you get a kiss and a smile and who doesn't love that. EC did NOT do this. Fail 1.
D. Be nice to waitstaff....or any service people for that matter. They are not your slaves or your servants, so don't treat them that way. Don't be sassy, don't be short with them, don't make all kinds of crazy requests or whine about the service being slow...you are with me after all and I am plenty of entertainment while we wait...and tip well. Nothing like a rude comment to a waiter/waitress will get you on the no shenanigans list faster. EC was not only kind to the waitress but struck up a conversation with her (she wasn't cute, don't worry he wasn't flirting)...plus he let me order first. 2 points EC.
E. Be flexible. EC and I were originally going to cook but I was majorly fatigued from my trip (read: I didn't want to cook) so we decided to go out for dinner. Everything had hour long waits because we didn't make reservations. You should be thinking...hurrah more time with Cristin (yes, this is what I expect my dates to be thinking) not murmuring in the corner. Be positive. Be flexible. Negative Nancys=major turnoff.
F. Dress well. You don't need to be all metrosexual in your man scarf and peacoat and manicured nails. Actually...if you are that would be a fail on your part because I would be wondering what gender you are actually interested in pursuing...But act like you are going on a date. Get a collared shirt and some nice dark jeans or khakis. You show up in some light wash jeans with holes, your Reebok's and a raggedy t-shirt and I show you the door. You wouldn't want me going out on date night in some elasta-band sweatpants so you shouldn't do it either. EC...being from the East Coast gets an epic amount of points in this area. Best. Dresser. Ever. Khaki linen pants, flip flops and a white collared shirt. Epitome of class. You get 3 points for that because it was flawless.
G. Listen. When I speak, you listen. Don't be looking around. Don't be disengaged. Actually listen and respond accordingly...even if I am talking about my pet fish...act interested. I will do the same for you. EC is a fabulo-listener. Point 7.
2. My job. Technically this falls into this week but I got the news this weekend so it goes with the weekend. Batter Bakery is getting a storefront!!!! In FiDi. For those of you who don't know what a kiosk in the financial district means for the two very single, very eligible women of Batter Bakery, it means we get fresh man meat. San Francisco is said to be a mecca for single, young, attractive, successful professionals but but all I see is hipsters and stunningly gorgeous gay men....neither of which I am particularly interested in. So in addition to getting to play and be involved in the new marketing efforts and corporate basket making...I will get to oogle men in suits all day. And provide them with cookies. And perhaps my number.
3. Ashty-pants. My day consisted of driving down to San Jose and spending the day with A-Pants. We had delicious wraps at Sweet Pea in downtown Los Gatos, milled about, ate dinner with the A-Pants family and went to church. It was lovely. Like, ladies who lunch, I feel so sophisticated and grown up-kind of lovely.
4. The DSW boot sale. Since grey is the color for fall. I sauntered over to DSW and picked me up not one, not two, but three pairs of grey shoes, including some gorgeous suede boots. and they were all on sale. BAM. If you have not hit this up yet do it. It will make you less depressed about the loss of the summer and excited to be dressing in winter clothes.
5. The week ahead. I was not only excited about the events of the weekend, I was excited about what is to come. Monday=the bestie comes back in the bay...only for 3 hours but its better then nothing, Tuesday=hiking date at Mt. Tam with AshtyPants + dinner and a sleepover, Wednesday=Catch up with TB and Hart via dessert night (we are all making our favorites together) and enjoying over a chick flick, Thursday=Church activity time, Friday= BIX date night with A-Pants where I will undoubtedly be debuting my new shoe and headband purchases, Saturday= The Delta, Sunday= Hart's baptism. BAM. Plus...my work week shall be the most fabulous yet as we get to work on the kiosk stuff because we are only 2 WEEKS FROM OPENING!
0 comments:
Post a Comment