Best of the Bay: Cristin Edition

Dear L.B. (and anyone else visiting the Bay in the near future):

As I have lived in the Bay area for five years now (holy old!) and I have made it a point to do and see as much as possible, I think I am pretty much an expert on things to see and do here.
If you want to know about things to eat, talk to my dear friends AshtyPants and SuperJen. Or tell me and I will talk to them for you :)
Enjoy,
Cristin

P.S. Click on the pictures to make them larger
P.P.S. I know you are coming in the summer, however let me warn you. San Francisco has no summer. We have fog. Bring layers. It can be sunny and 80 degrees on one block and you turn the corner and BAM! 50 degrees, foggy and windy. Truth Spoke.

Regardless of your mode of transportation or your budget, when in San Francisco you must...A. Do what tourists do and go to Pier 39. Walk down to the end. See the seals...you will be able to find them by following that terrible smell wafting your way. Walk back to the street but on the way, right next to the House of Pearls (or something like that) and right across from the sports store and the trampoline hit up the only reason I go to Pier 39. Mini Donuts. Yes folks, I said MINI DONUTS!!! They are delicious. Get a bag of 6. or 24. Then walk up the street towards Boudin, the inventor of sourdough bread. Stop and watch the street performers and then follow the scent of freshly baked bread to the windows where you can watch the bakers sculpting bread into various shaped animals and go on in and grab yourself some soup (if you are a seafood fan, our clam chowder is famous, I however prefer the tomato soup) in a breadbowl and relax. You have walked so far. You deserve a break.


B. Hit up Chinatown. It smells. It's gross. It's crowded. It's so San Francisco. Here are some tips from a pro. 1. Grant St. is the nice chinatown where you laugh and everyone is a tourist and you have fun and buy silly things. 2. Stockton St is the legit chinatown. They are not afraid to be cutting fish heads or having chickens running around. (The bus that runs through it is the 30 which San Franciscans have lovingly named the "dirty 30". I have seen with my own two eyes live chickens running around on this bus on multiple occasions.) 3. Visit the the place where the fortune cookie was invented (no not China!), Golden Gate Fortune Cookies at 56 Ross Alley, up from Stockton in between Jackson and Washington. Pick yourself up a bag of good old fashion fortune cookies. Or a bag of the dirty ones.

C. Get your butt on a cable car. Wait in the line. Buy the $5 one way ticket. Grab an outside post. Take pictures. Try not to hit passing cars with your purse. Stop at the Cable Car Museum on Mason and Washington and get a little history. Get back on. Enjoy the ride.

D. All. time. favorite. Go to Ghiradelli. Stop in the store and get your free sample. (If you go through the front door more than once they just keep giving you them. Tip from the pro. You are welcome.) Order dessert. If you think you can handle it order the Earthquake. Stare at the rivers of chocolatey goodness and be grateful places like this exist outside of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

If you have a car...drive. duh.

San Francisco has so much to see by car or by foot but these are things you can only get the full experience of in a car. Drive to Coit Tower. Take elevator to the top. Drive to Alamo Square and see the most photographed block in the country, also known as the Painted Ladies or Seven Sisters, they are rows of Victorian Houses. Plus, Full House was filmed here. Bam. Then drive down Lombard Street....and get your picture taken by 700 tourists. You are basically famous.

If you don't have a car....hop on the Muni bus 28. sidenote: The Muni is crazy. I cannot properly prepare you for the ride you will have on San Francisco's public transit system. The drivers are wacko and the patrons are worse. Everyone from crackheads to homeless to investment bankers and yours truly will be on these buses. So be prepared. But don't worry. It's legit. Plus it's $2 and we know how I love me a good deal. Make sure to take the GGBridge direction and get off at your first stop......the Exploratorium. It is fun for all ages. For real. I have fun. You have fun. Baby Chicken has fun. That five year old in that stroller over there has fun. It's good times. Basically Bill Nye the Science guy, or someone much like him, made a museum where you get to do cool experiments...and the drinking fountain is a toilet bowl. Enough said.
After your trip back to high school science class, walk towards the ocean to Crissy Field and...
...fly a kite. This used to be an old air force base and it has beautiful views of the Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz and downtown San Francisco. Plus, it is always windy...hence the kite....Speaking of the Golden Gate Bridge.......go there. You can either hop back on the 28 bus line or walk. It's easy to find. It's the big red structure connecting SF to Marin. If you can't find it, you have bigger problems then I can help you with. Once there you can walk across it, throw things off of it (this is illegal but as long as you don't throw your hubby off it I approve), or just bask in it's golden glory.

If you have time (and you should make time for these)....take a jaunt down the Embarcadero to......ATT Park, home of the San Francisco Giants and the best sunset views in the Bay. It is located right next to McCovey cove where people in canoes wait with baseball mitts for home runs and fly balls to go into the water. Get bleacher seats. They have the best view of the park+are cheap+have the best fans. Beware: You will freeze and might die in the bleachers. Bring blankets, lot's of them. It gets COLD!
After your nice daytime game (or nighttime whichever you prefer), head back up the Embarcadero to pier 23 to go to....
...get on the boat to Alcatraz. Yes it is a tourist trap. Yes it is expensive. Yes you have to make reservations a week or two in advance. Heck yes it is worth it. Do the night tour if you can, it's scarier, it's colder, it gives you more of a feeling of how the prisoners felt and it's awesome...

If you have the time AND a car, make the trip out to Oakland to see...
...the Oakland temple. Even if you aren't LDS, it is beautiful. It has the most phenomenal views of the entire bay area and you can see both the Bay Bridge and the GG Bridge along with Alcatraz and the whole shebang. After the temple...you should go....
...to Berkley! The hippie filled streets and prestigious college campus are the perfect juxtaposition and you almost always get a good story out of it. From there head to the Coliseum (Home of the Oakland A's, and of course my Raider babies) for a baseball game. Then...get out or burn. Oakland is straight ghetto. Drive home/to the airport, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Or get shot. Whichever you choose.

and if all else fails...

And remember..if you get the craving for a cupcake, stop by Batter Bakery in the mission district and say hello to SuperJen and I and we will make sure to slip you some goodies!