I have moved...

No, no...not out of the Creek.

Just to a different blog*.

If I am going to be serious about this whole blogging ish, I need to have a little bit more anonymity...and a cool alias. So I think I came up with one.

Enjoy.

*I will no longer be posting here...only at 18 Aprons. So visit. And follow me.

Nothing Cures a Sore Throat Like...

Momma's Chicken Noodle Soup

EC has been sick and I know that nothing makes a person feel better then a bowl of homemade soup in bed.

So tonight we made dinner (I say we instead of me because unlike was originally intended, EC ended up helping with a lot of the preparation...and he offered to deal with the chickens because the red bloody death spots, skin and fat on uncooked chicken makes me die a little inside every time I look at it/touch it.) and it was delish. Except he ran out of salt. So it was actually less delish and more bland. But that's besides the point.

Since I love you all so much I will share Momma K's delicious and extremely easy C.N.S. recipe.

please Sautee:
One onion. Chopped.

please Throw in a large pot:
Carrots. Peeled and Chopped. As many as you like.
Celery. Chopped.
One Large Container of Chicken Broth.
One package of Half Breasts. With Bone and Skin. Gross I know.
Sauteed Onions.

please make sure to Submerge all ingredients. Add Water if everything is not covered by broth.

please. Add Salt and Pepper.

please Boil for 1 hr. When chicken is almost cooked (about 10 minutes away) please start to Cook a pot full of Egg Noodles.

please Add Egg Noodles to Soup.

please Enjoy

So boil yourself a pot the next time your hubby/boyfriend/friends are sick. And they will love you forever. Or....make your hubby/boyfriend/friends make it for you and serve it to you in bed. Much better idea.

Bon Appetit.

6 down...24 to go

This past week I was able to check another stadium off my list as Poppy K and I hauled our burnt beach bums down to San Diego to watch the Padres get trashed by the Braves.

Petco Park was strange. I don't know how I feel about my experience there or where it ranked in my list of parks for the following reasons:1. Padres fans = lame. Yell a little. Stand up and cheer. Know the names of your players for gosh sakes. Oh and buy tickets...the stands are empty. I know you are rooting for a terrible team but that shouldn't stop you from being fabulous. Look at the Raider's fans.
2. Petco is surrounded by a giant hotel. You can see the lights but when you get there the park itself is shrouded in classy hotel-esque buildings. I didn't come here for the Holiday Inn...show me some baseball.
3. The have a beach. It is outside the outfield. I get it, it's San Diego, it's a beach...but is sand really necessary at a baseball game? It's just gonna get all up in my hot dog.
4. They make you pay for parking. Heck no am I paying to park my car in the ghetto to go see a crappy team play "baseball" in a hotel lobby.
5. Their mascot is crazy. What monk do you know that is running around thrusting his giant fabric pelvis and acting a fool? Not OK Padre. Not OK.
Now, I want you all to know that I am not just being cranky for no reason but that I am cranky because I expected great things.. The reason I wanted to go to Petco is it is ranked in the top 10 of all the new stadiums built...and pretty high up there. Someone musta been on crack when they wrote that article because Petco...I am UN-IM-Pressed...

That said....they did pass with high marks in two areas.#2 Best Hotdogs and Snacks (Second to Fenway)
#3 Best Sunset (#1 AT&T, #2 Fenway)

...and we all know it's about the food anyways :)

FHE- Provident Living Edition

For our Laguna Beach FHE I decided to utilize a skill Poppy K (and hopefully me as well) posses...provident living. Poppy is an accountant(I'm following in his big Poppy shoes) and could live in Costco pants, in a one bedroom house eating take out every night and he would be happy as a clam.

So...since Baby Chicken and Momma K have some serious shopping issues (as BC once said "I am a consumer"), Baby Chicken is going off to college to live all alone and I am finally off The Family payroll, I felt a budgeting lesson would be appropriate.

We learned how to input our salaries, take out for taxes, calculate the necessary deductions and budget for daily expenses as well as those that are unexpected.We then made suggestions as to what we could do right now to live more providently. One of the major expenses BC, Momma K and I all have is beauty products. We love us some expensive face creams and BC can't live without his lavender oil (yes it sounds fruity but let me tell you, lavender oil is where it's at. It reduces redness on pimples and shrinks them without drying out and it also helps relax or put you to sleep, don't just take my word for it. Try it. Life changing. Seriously.). Therefore, for our activity we learned how to make our own skin brightening masks, courtesy of Martha ($6) to replace the expensive ($20 per packet) ones that we are more drawn to.{And then, of course...we did a test drive of our new product}
Oh how I love me some FHE.

Best Weekend Ever: August 8th Edition

This was the best week ever...due to the fact that I was in Laguna (my second home), went to a Padres game AND got to go to DLand and hang out with the Family. Basically all my favorite things rolled into one week. Since nothing can compare to the fabulo-week, I was prepared for the weekend to be a major let down. It was not my friends. It was not.

Let me count the ways...

1. My date. I was a little leery about posting regarding my dating life for multiple reasons, the main two being, A. What happens if nothing materializes and then I have told you all and then not only am I sad and lost and alone but you are sad and lost and alone and I wouldn't want to put that on you since you are all in functioning relationships and don't need to be reminded of the dating world B. I feel weird putting it on the Internet...but since this is about my life and since most of you are off and married and have no time to call and chat about the plights of a single girl, I decided I guess it was ok. I don't date often but when I do I observe many curious things. Actually, I just observe many curious things in general dealing with menfolk....they are just magnified on dates. If you are a man, you should read this...because you people need to learn what we think/expect/are appalled by so you can act accordingly.

A. Date girls. This weekend was my first official date with...we will just call him EC since he is from the East Coast...Boston to be exact (and yes he has the accent...and it is basically my weakness). I say official date because we have known each other for quite some time and any of you who have "hung out" with a guy know that unless you are firm and all SBW (strong black woman) on them, boys have a tendency not to take you out on proper dates. So when he came back into my life I became all SBW with him and lo and behold...date night hurrah! Now, this is not a When Harry Met Sally situation where we were friends first and it all fell into place and it was so precious...it was more a we tried to date before but we were both in bad places and it started quickly going downhill until it ended in a terrible awkward crash kind of situation. Yet I digress. Now we don't like to have to go SBW on you, so just ask us out to begin with. Don't "hang out" with us so we are left wondering if we are dating or if you like us or if we are just one of the guys all night and then once your friends leave you start macking on us and then we are all flavors of confused. Unacceptable.
B. Open our doors. I am independent and strong and I make my own money and buy my own ish and I can open my own doors but when I am on a date, I don't wanna. Just do it. It's not that we can't do it on our own, it's that you are showing that you have manners and weren't raised by piggies and that you want to take care of us...and we all want to be taken care of...so do it. EC did it. Point 2 for EC (Point 1 was the accent).
C. Open our car doors. This point is up for contention. Alex and Ash seem to believe that is a strange thing to do and that is feels weird if someone comes around and opens your door but I don't. I love me some car door opening. When BZ and I were dating I would wait outside until he opened it. Sometimes he would forget and get in the car and I would just be chillin outside like "Um hello, get out here and treat me like the lady I am biatch" and so he would get out and do it and I would lose my sassy face and be all smiley and cute. It makes me feel special and dainty and anyone who knows me knows that I am far from dainty...plus if you do it, you get a kiss and a smile and who doesn't love that. EC did NOT do this. Fail 1.
D. Be nice to waitstaff....or any service people for that matter. They are not your slaves or your servants, so don't treat them that way. Don't be sassy, don't be short with them, don't make all kinds of crazy requests or whine about the service being slow...you are with me after all and I am plenty of entertainment while we wait...and tip well. Nothing like a rude comment to a waiter/waitress will get you on the no shenanigans list faster. EC was not only kind to the waitress but struck up a conversation with her (she wasn't cute, don't worry he wasn't flirting)...plus he let me order first. 2 points EC.
E. Be flexible. EC and I were originally going to cook but I was majorly fatigued from my trip (read: I didn't want to cook) so we decided to go out for dinner. Everything had hour long waits because we didn't make reservations. You should be thinking...hurrah more time with Cristin (yes, this is what I expect my dates to be thinking) not murmuring in the corner. Be positive. Be flexible. Negative Nancys=major turnoff.
F. Dress well. You don't need to be all metrosexual in your man scarf and peacoat and manicured nails. Actually...if you are that would be a fail on your part because I would be wondering what gender you are actually interested in pursuing...But act like you are going on a date. Get a collared shirt and some nice dark jeans or khakis. You show up in some light wash jeans with holes, your Reebok's and a raggedy t-shirt and I show you the door. You wouldn't want me going out on date night in some elasta-band sweatpants so you shouldn't do it either. EC...being from the East Coast gets an epic amount of points in this area. Best. Dresser. Ever. Khaki linen pants, flip flops and a white collared shirt. Epitome of class. You get 3 points for that because it was flawless.
G. Listen. When I speak, you listen. Don't be looking around. Don't be disengaged. Actually listen and respond accordingly...even if I am talking about my pet fish...act interested. I will do the same for you. EC is a fabulo-listener. Point 7.

Good job EC. You came out in the green. Plus you get major bonus points for picking me up from the airport, driving an hour to Tiny304 then an hour back home. You went the extra mile, literally.

2. My job. Technically this falls into this week but I got the news this weekend so it goes with the weekend. Batter Bakery is getting a storefront!!!! In FiDi. For those of you who don't know what a kiosk in the financial district means for the two very single, very eligible women of Batter Bakery, it means we get fresh man meat. San Francisco is said to be a mecca for single, young, attractive, successful professionals but but all I see is hipsters and stunningly gorgeous gay men....neither of which I am particularly interested in. So in addition to getting to play and be involved in the new marketing efforts and corporate basket making...I will get to oogle men in suits all day. And provide them with cookies. And perhaps my number.

3. Ashty-pants. My day consisted of driving down to San Jose and spending the day with A-Pants. We had delicious wraps at Sweet Pea in downtown Los Gatos, milled about, ate dinner with the A-Pants family and went to church. It was lovely. Like, ladies who lunch, I feel so sophisticated and grown up-kind of lovely.

4. The DSW boot sale. Since grey is the color for fall. I sauntered over to DSW and picked me up not one, not two, but three pairs of grey shoes, including some gorgeous suede boots. and they were all on sale. BAM. If you have not hit this up yet do it. It will make you less depressed about the loss of the summer and excited to be dressing in winter clothes.

5. The week ahead. I was not only excited about the events of the weekend, I was excited about what is to come. Monday=the bestie comes back in the bay...only for 3 hours but its better then nothing, Tuesday=hiking date at Mt. Tam with AshtyPants + dinner and a sleepover, Wednesday=Catch up with TB and Hart via dessert night (we are all making our favorites together) and enjoying over a chick flick, Thursday=Church activity time, Friday= BIX date night with A-Pants where I will undoubtedly be debuting my new shoe and headband purchases, Saturday= The Delta, Sunday= Hart's baptism. BAM. Plus...my work week shall be the most fabulous yet as we get to work on the kiosk stuff because we are only 2 WEEKS FROM OPENING!

Dear month of August. I think I love you.

Oh Baby.

Martha, stop putting the spotlight up on the world of babies.

You are making me wanna baby so I can make these for my shower...
and make/purchase these for my baby.

But heaven knows that I am not having a baby. First I gotta hook myself a husband. Actually, I gotta hook myself a boyfriend. Oh man, I gotta hook myself a date.

So my dear friends. You are all off and married. Start poppin out those chilluns so I can gift you cute things.

High Five to D-Land

The Baby Chicken and I high five to things. e.g. High Five to doing sit ups before bed. High Five to finding cheap-o headband deals. High Five to good hair days. We say it. Then we high five. We are lame. We know.

Oh dear Walt.

You somehow created a place where a 22 year old and her insanely fabulo-brother, the Baby Chicken can have fun regardless of that fact that we are at least 17 years past prime Disney visit-age. You are amazing.

I love me some Disneyland. Anytime anyone even mentions D-Land, I immediately get on Southwest.com and book me a flight. I go with boyfriends, family, friends and even got my bestie to go with me and dress up like Disney princesses. We were 20. It's that serious.

Just like any theme park filled with thousands of runny-nosed little kids, it is going to have it's downside. While waiting 100 minutes in the Splash Mountain line, the Baby Chicken and I figured out what makes it so magical, and what does not.

Disney Win: The Rides1. Enchanted Tiki Hut= Bomb. I know, it sounds lame. It's not. Well maybe it's just not for us...but you should go and try it anyways cuz who doesn't love some talking tiki poles?
2. New Toy Story ride. You would think it's just a replica of the Buzz Lightyear ride in DLand b/c it is a carnival themed shooting game and it is like that game, on crack. We had more fun shootin at some targets then we did for most of the day, and that is sayin alot.
3. Splash Mountain. I'm not in it for the big drop at the end. I am in it for the part right before when the lights you out and you go barreling through the darkness of the Briar Forest. That part is where it's at.
4. The Matterhorn. Enough Said.
5. California Screamin. Always has me screamin (that's what she said). Baby Chicken half died on this ride b/c he didn't know that I was so scared of roller coasters...which I am...but we were also in the back and oh man can that thing go.

Disney Win: The FireworksBest. Fireworks. Show. Ever.

Disney Win: Themed DecorYour decorator knows what she/he is doing. I love me some kitchy Disney-topia.

Disney Win: The Adult HumorYa. I have the maturity of a 3 year old. I get it.

Disney Win, Consumer Win: Themed PicturesWe all do it. We pose next to our favorite statue and look just like it. Why? It's not creative and it's not funny because the statue is already doing it. Yet we ALL do it. D-Land is where it is probably done the most and that's ok because we all get to feel silly and touristy and no one cares, so thanks D-Land, for making us pucker our faces and act a fool and yet still making us feel cool while doing it.

Disney Win, Consumer Win: The FoodI love me so Disneyland food. You are walking 500 miles just to get from one end of the park to the other and you are usually running because you are all giddy like a child so when you consume 4,000 calories of delicious overpriced food you are still feeling pretty svelte, and that is fabulous.

Disney Win, Consumer Fail: The MerchWhat is it about Disneyland that makes you wanna buy crap? Sitting here I can with complete confidence say I do not need a Mickey Mouse themed bottle opener, or socks, or headband, or pen, or shirt, or coffecup, or coaster, or earrings. I do not need Mickey ears. I do not need a Buzz Lightyear hat. But somehow, when you are all up in D-Land enjoying all it has to offer you see someone with a Mad Hatter hat and you are like "Ya, I need that. I would totally wear that again. To a costume party, to a dance, heck, just around the house. Yes I need that. Here is $40 for that hat". And you are stoked. You wear it with pride and you even feel pretty cool coming home with it...until the next day when you are $40 poorer and you have a useless Disney-themed (insert purchase here). This year I wore my previously purchased Disney shirt and only made one stupid purchase, but it was an apron and I collect those...and I refrained from buying the whisk and matching bowl. Oh, and a water sprayer fan, but it was 300 degrees outside so that's legit. So that's a Cristin win.

Disney Fail: The Rides1. Don't be trying to make me pay a bagilion dollars for a Park Hopper when half the rides in California Adventure are closed, the lake is drained and my favorite place to eat, the Corn Dog Castle is also closed.
2. I am not about to wait in a 100 minute line for Splash Mountain. Oh wait, there aren't any Fastpasses left? Oh, then I guess I am.
3. Space Mountain. We did not partake of Space Mountain this trip and I shall tell you why. Both times we went there it was broken down due to "technical difficulties". Well D-land, I'm not planning on dying in a starlit coaster trap of death so you can keep your difficulties and we will come back when you have your ish together.
4. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Snow White's Scary Adventures, Alice in Wonderland Ride. You are scary. You are demonic. You do not end happily. Someone was on drugs when you were conceived and written. Especially Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. I don't need to be on a wild ride if it's gonna take me to my death then to the after death judgement where I get sent to hell and meet the devil and then get dropped off at the ride's start feeling lost and alone. Yes people, this is actually what happens on that ride.

Disney Fail: The Pedophiles...I mean charactersWhat grown man is like "Oh, what do I want to do for a living? Dress up in a costume where I can't be seen and my entire body is covered in garb that lures children to me so I can "entertain" them" Creeeepers.

Disney Fail, Consumer Fail, Our Win: Line Hopping
After the fireworks show there was a cluster right outside waiting to get in the Peter Pan ride so what did Baby Chicken do? Bombarded the line, pushed his way past a buttload of people and children in princess dresses and got us to the front. High Five to a 5 minute wait.


So Disney, even though you have your issues. We still give you a major High Five for providing us entertainment for an entire 14 hours and for getting us off the beach so our terrible sunburns could heal.